is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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