Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
