i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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