i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
