guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I could make wine with my vomit
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Houston, we have a squirter
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
