If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
