i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
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The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
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Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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