OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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