so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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