i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
