dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
