No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
