So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
