How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
