I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
