I didn't shave. On purpose
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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