Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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