Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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