ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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