I cockslap morals
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
