Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize