Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
