My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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