somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
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I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
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It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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