I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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