feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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