we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
