Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
