i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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