i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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