Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
