i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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