i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just found a bag of teeth...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
