wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
