As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Drunk is not a location!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
