Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
