yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize