let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
