Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
