So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
