I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
