saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
