The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
