Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
