Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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