ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woke up backwards on a recliner
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
