sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
