A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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