We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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