make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
