How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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