I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
