you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
