it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
