I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize