Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
