Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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