R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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