Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
two words...techno handjob
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
