hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
how do you play pong handcuffed?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
