bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
