i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
