My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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