so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
